Turkey holiday diary 2018 – Part Two
So the holiday continues.
We woke to the fact that the suitcase was on hold, this clearly didn’t go down well with Liz, and she was well restrained to be fair. First breakfast then down to the pool complete with hoist, inflatable crocodile, rubber ring and Jet Ski. Once installed Thelma and I embarked on what ended up being a two hour lift ride. We went to see our new friends at guest relations to get them to ring DHL, (dump, hide, lose) to find out the problem? We needed to fill another form in, ok so they emailed me the form. It needed to be printed so of to the room to use my grid pad (eye operated tablet) to forward it to the hotel. Then back down to get the form, then we realised the size of the task when the form wanted to know the exact contents of the case, oh shit. So asking Liz wasn’t really an option as she can’t remember anything but facts you will never need like the Latin name for a daffodil or something. So best foot forward, 14 dresses, 4 bikinis, 5 shorts, 6 tops and bras and knickers, that should do it. Back down to scan in and email back to me. Surprise! Back up to email it off. So down to the pool and lunch. Whilst in our favourite lift I asked Thelma how she was enjoying the holiday, her response was “the view from the lift is great”. Over lunch and discussing the antics Liz mentioned her hair dryer and strengtheners, we failed to mention them, well the response was to the effect of I will be buying new ones if they aren’t there.
The rest of the day was fairly normal with the odd request for a tracking update and when will it be here. At this point we started to enjoy the holiday with a glimmer of hope the suitcase would arrive.
As the normal thing to do have become to check the tracking, it arrived at Istanbul airport, instantly will it be here today, in true honest style I answered, doubt it. What we going to do about clothes? I said we will have to go to Belek, so that meant a walk of 30 minutes in 35 degrees. Given what the men can be like there, I wasn’t going to let Liz go on her own. We obviously weren’t going to leave the girls or take them, so of we went leaving the girls with Thelma. It was to be a game of chicken with the added bonus of fry till you die. Chicken was simply their pavements are a foot high with no drop kerbs and rules of the road are simple, everyone for them selves. If that wasn’t enough there was the small issue of battery power, would it last? The game of chicken went well with buses beeping and flashing their lights at me, weirdly enough they didn’t have windows. Belek was in site, just a cross roads to navigate, go for it, shade was in sight. I have to say we made it however the heat had taken about all my energy and it doesn’t help when I don’t sweat, fabry’s disease. Main aim was a bikini however I did say it would be a good idea to get some essential items in case the case didn’t arrive, I was out voted so it was just a bikini for Mrs optimistic. It was long before we found such an establishment, what a surprise, step in to the shop so of Liz goes with smiling shop keeper right behind her, now would have been a good time to do the watching you thing from meet the fookers but as my arms no longer work and the best thing I could do was take a run up to the door and launch my self through the door hoping to land on him, I didn’t see the point in attempting it. It goes something like this. I’m looking for a bikini, may I help you, do you have a female colleague? (Wtf, the guy doesn’t speak English) Whilst Liz offers bikinis up to herself. Then he offers a kiss for discount, oh dear. Mate only if you knew my wife is the Queen of haggling. Trouble is Liz is size 10 bottoms and an over the shoulder bolder holder on top, meaning he is going to take two bikini sets to make one. Then he offered to put it on for her, nearly time to launch, referring to me he asked if i was her brother, that was soon straightened out, then his English came to life with madam you have big tits. Fortunately Liz had the one she wanted so haggling got it down by half to £40, not cheap but I think she had had enough. By this time we were ready to run the gauntlet again so the same in reverse only it was hotter and I really was struggling. You will be pleased to know the battery did well, however Thelma on our return thought the worst and considered it might be the straw that broke the camels back. As if that all wasn’t enough both girls had colds. Then after the evening show it’s time for bed, oh what is this? A locked bathroom door and no one is in it. Call to reception and Mr Technical arrives with pliers and screwdriver to break in, but all is well because Liz says he is fit.
As it was now customary first thing to check the tracking I awoke to the news that there was a problem with customs but no idea what. You guessed it, breakfast followed by a morning ritual at guest relations. The problem was they were querying the £65 value of the contents. Long story short, if the value exceeds £75 then you need a special code so this was easier and as Liz only does charity shopping it was probably only worth £20 anyway, love you baby. So we managed to get guest relations to convince them that it was all used clothing for a holiday. Then you would not believe it, we had a normal day and as the following day was Sunday and everything is shut we had a normal day again, loving it, so we get to miss a day.
Final instalment to come.